If Dee's Walls Could Talk

If Dee's walls could talk, I would move out immediately, but you'd want to move in! I have an opinion, and I'm not afraid to use it! Be sure to view older posts if you haven't stopped by in a while!

Struggle Dating is for Lames…

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…and young folk.

As we get more seasoned in the dating game, we begin to choose partners that are an “upgrade” from our previous relationships in the hope of having a different outcome.  When you know better, you do better, right?!

Let’s go back a bit.  Can I tell you that gentleness is one of the most disarmingly and captivatingly attractive qualities in a man! And vocabulary.  It’s magical! Your words are your swords, powerful as all get out.  When you can speak with someone and be moved by who they are…mercy!  Being sure of yourself and being able to do so without spelling it out! All day, yes!  You know what else is sexy?  Patience.  When a man is patient with you, and lets you just be, but can wrangle you together gently! Wall climbing goodness!  Patience is an art on both ends.  Also a requirement for lasting success.

There are differences between men and women, duh, but understanding how the other operates is a necessity.  For instance, we give men 100 chances and with each chance they realize they can get away with more, so they are bound to turn up again.  You’ll get less every time.  Doesn’t mean you don’t forgive.  Doesn’t mean you can’t reconcile.  Just means you need to pay attention.  Take stock, if you will.  You have to find someone who is willing to fight to make it right, and can’t afford to lose you to sucka shit.  Don’t go chasing waterfalls. Don’t spend time worrying about what they’re NOT doing.  Wasted time and energy.  It will make you plain tired and bitter.

Point blank, most men don’t do better because we don’t require them to.  Too many suckaduck females that allow wackness to prevail.  But brush it off, pull it together, and go have a good time doing the right thing.  Life is too damn short.  This year, I hit my breaking point on all things bullshitish!

I’m difficult my damn self. No excuses, just am what I am.  Difference is that I am always seeking to grow. I made A LOT of mistakes while dating, but I got tired of waiting by the phone, wishing and hoping, being P. I. Private Eye, or dealing with anything that made me hurt.  I was rewarded for my efforts, but even still, I stay woke!

My advice to women, young, old, and in between, find someone who believes that you’re flawless.  Find someone that’s ready to give you what you’re looking for beyond the “new new” period.  You have no time to argue or convince anyone that you’re worth the effort.  Perhaps to them, you aren’t!  Also, don’t date dudes who are always in a rush.  Time is of the essence, but do things in your own damn time.

I’m a retired expert on struggle dating.  I consult for a nominal fee, though.  I hope that if you’re searching and looking for love that you make a shift in your thinking.  That you put more energy into yourself, and pray for what you do AND don’t want.  I’m quite open and loving, and I wanted to spill a bit of game as we watch the Kim K’s and Amber Rose’s of the world getting flucked in the game.

We give our bodies, time, and money to these brothers hoping that our efforts are appreciated.  Do for your boos, most definitely, but don’t upgrade them when they’re depleting you.  There’s a difference between being generous and being a dumbass.  Fall back and let the man put in effort to bae you up.  Men really do go after what they want.  MEN GO AFTER WHAT THEY WANT!!!  Sometimes, men are along for the ride.  This is evident when they only show up halfway.  You’ll begin to wonder what you did or didn’t do.  This is your sign.  The only one you need.  Don’t ask questions.  Don’t beat yourself up.  Charge it to the game, and keep it moving.  I am a care-giver.  I have two jobs.  I am super active in my community.  There is never a time that I don’t return a call or text, unless I’m ignoring it. Sit your ass down, and be patient. Work on yourself.  Help someone else with something.  But stop begging for the okidoke!  Ladies, we have to do better.

In my own life, I just got tired of my own bullshit.  So I changed it.  No one said or did anything that caused an immediate change.  Men and their difficult asses aren’t going to change any faster.  Accept it, and give them the space they need. Don’t wait for them, live your life.

I tell you these things to save you a bit of time and effort.  Struggle dating has been my life.  The stories I could tell…! When you genuinely want something better for your life, you will begin to attract someone who energetically matches the degree of esteem you have for yourself.  Everyone sent to you is sent to you on a mission, good or bad.  Learn as much as you can, have fun, be safe, be honest, and let your value shine.

You can only tell the game after you’ve been played enough. Trust.

Don’t beat yourself up.  Just guard your heart, and love the hell out of yourself!

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2 comments on “Struggle Dating is for Lames…

  1. Amber Gainey
    September 24, 2014

    Girrrrrrrrrl!!!!!!!! Yes! Have to know your worth. Once you do, it gets a little easier! Great read, soror!

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This entry was posted on September 24, 2014 by in Uncategorized.
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