If Dee's Walls Could Talk

If Dee's walls could talk, I would move out immediately, but you'd want to move in! I have an opinion, and I'm not afraid to use it! Be sure to view older posts if you haven't stopped by in a while!

DEAR GOD, I’M HERE…

WhoopiGoldbergPurple

 

What are you afraid of?  Dying?  Failure? Rejection?  Loss?  Pain?

We all have something that frightens us. And according to my pastor, what we fear the most is what we value the most.

Too often we get caught up in the “what ifs” and end up placing our faith in them instead of God.  My pastor’s personal suggestion to me was to allow myself to go down the what-if path. His purpose was to prove to me that I would eventually find my way if a worst-case scenario situation happened to me.  He believes that even in failure we eventually begin to put one step in front of the other and begin to live again. A different kind of living, but living nonetheless.

One of my biggest fears is submission.  Growing up, I watched women submitting left and right only to be left broken.  Not just broken, but SUPERbroken.  I vowed to never be that chick.  I wanted to submit only to someone worthy who felt the same about me.  Ummm, not necessarily a good move.  I had to /have to literally work on not being “the one in charge”, or I have to learn to compromise.

Another huge fear that I carry with me is that something will happen to me before I can make proper secondary arrangements for my mother.  We don’t have family that helps out now, so they will undoubtedly continue their absence.  I wonder if I’m doing enough for her, or if I’m showing her the proper amount of love and patience.

I asked my pastor about this also, and he informed me that I’ve lost two brothers, and yet I’m here.  I dealt with being a caregiver for five years, and I’m not doing too shabby of a job either.  I’m still thriving and living.  Different, but good.

Now, I try to pray more about my fears.  Did you think they just went away?  I’ve been making a conscious choice to surrender my fears to God daily, and to communicate better with those involved in my life.  And it’s working.  Seriously.   It’s not easy, but I’m still here.

Growing up is kind of awesome!  Growing in your faith is even awesomer!

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